Dealing with Conflict

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” –Matthew 6:14-15 (ESV.

In human relationships, conflict is bound to occur.  This applies in many situations.  Marital conflicts bring disagreements or quarrels between husband and wife.  Children and parents disagree, on discipline, on directions a child may want to go that parents think will bring unwanted consequences.  In the workplace, jealousies or disagreements set people at odds.  In church life, “one side” disagrees with “the other side” about the work and mission of the church.  Wherever the conflict, it causes ill will and hard feelings, broken relationships.

Jesus was well aware that such conflicts are a part of human interaction.  He put it quite well on an understandable ratio:  “forgive others so your heavenly Father will forgive you.”  Because of our human nature, forgiveness is not always easy to accomplish.  A conflict arises between a mother and a daughter, a father and a son, parents and children.  The mother, father—those parents—might pray earnestly for the child whom they know is at odds with them.  The rift continues.  Sweet fellowship has been broken.

A wise observer of human relationships once said:  “You can spend the rest of your life praying for someone to change, but if unforgiveness is in your heart, God cannot answer your prayers.”  (in Allen, Lucile, comp.  Time Out for the Spirit.  Carmel, NY:  Guideposts, 2007, p. 188).  A mother had prayed long and hard about a conflict she was having with her daughter.  The friend’s word of advice made her realize she had not really forgiven her daughter, and until she was able to do so, the conflict would continue. The rift was mended with her determination to forgive her daughter and also telling her so.  A sweet relationship was restored.

Whatever you area of conflict, examine your willingness to forgive.  Know that there is a direct relationship between God’s forgiving us our trespasses as we are willing to forgive those who have trespassed against us.  Forgiveness brings not only relief of mind but it restores fellowship.

Prayer:  Today, Lord, let me examine relationships.  Where forgiveness is needed, give me the grace to forgive so that I may know the joy of restored fellowship with the offended person and with You.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.  –Ethelene Dyer Jones  08.18.2013.